God’s Unfailing Love & Hope’s Victory over Satan’s Arrows

Written By: Heidi Peterson

The Calm Before the Storm

“There’s blood in his mouth!” A chill ran down my spine; I could barely look as my husband, Kirk, inspected the damage. My son, Brody, had fallen flat on his face, and had knocked out a tooth, I just knew it. “He bit the inside of his lip!” Kirk proclaimed. I sighed with relief; his tooth was ok. I jumped into action, nursing poor Brody’s trembling lip with a tissue. Thank goodness his tooth was safe, this time.

As the months passed and first Brody, then my second son, Cole, learned to walk, then run, then do all sorts of acrobatic stunts around the house and outside, my adrenaline would continue to rush and my blood run cold every time I heard a hurt scream pierce the air. I was just sure a tooth had been knocked out. Was it because I worked in a dental office as a hygienist and always seemed to notice a person’s teeth first before anything else? Did I truly believe losing a tooth was worse than breaking a limb or suffering a concussion, or worse? I do not know, but I know Satan knew right where to attack me a couple years later, when Brody turned four.

“Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” -1 Peter 5:8  NIV 

The Storms of Life

I was feeling pretty good about life after returning home from Bible study with my boys that afternoon. We made our typical peanut butter and honey sandwiches and strawberries, and then it was naptime for Cole. Today instead of watching a cartoon while Cole napped, Kirk was taking Brody to the dental office I worked at for a cleaning and checkup. There were a couple discolored teeth I was worried about, but I was sure they were ok.  Brody bounced happily into his car-seat to go visit my hygienist co-worker.  I had prepped him with the exciting news that if he were a good boy and had no cavities, he would get a treat and a pack of gum. When he came back, he did have these things in his hand, but Kirk told me about the cavity on one tooth, and the possible three others, and my heart plummeted down to the depths of my stomach. What?!  I knew about teeth. I knew how to prevent decay. My son had 4 cavities. Impossible! What would people think? I was the worst hygienist and mom in the world!

We took him to the pediatric dentist, where more x-rays revealed a tooth that needed a pulpotomy and a crown (no!) and three others that needed fillings. Brody would have to be sedated, and we’d have to wait a month to get it done. On top of that, it would cost a lot of money, and we had just decided to drop Brody from our dental insurance, because we thought he could get any work he needed done at the office I worked in for free. I found out too late that he was too small; my office didn’t have the right monitoring equipment to safely treat him. We would have to pay out of pocket.

After finding out the devastating news, I did not skip a night flossing Brody’s teeth with fluoride-coated floss, brushing morning and night, and rinsing with fluoride rinse before bed. In the back of my mind, I was dreading the day of his appointment. I was usually calm and collected; what was I so uneasy about? I hadn’t heard any horror stories about kids’ dental visits gone horribly wrong…or had I just not been paying attention?

A Slice of Paradise & the Enemy’s  Arrows

We went to Arizona the week before Brody’s appointment. My brother-in-law, a musician, had made a neat song that reminded me of outer space. He asked if he could film Brody to be in his music video, and shot some footage in a beautiful desert park one evening. I watched Cole while they filmed Brody so he wouldn’t run in front of the camera. The sun was setting among the cacti and dunes, illuminating the sand and desert plants. I could feel God’s presence, standing there among his creation, but there was a cold hint of dread. What if this footage my brother-in-law was taping would be played at his funeral after his death from having a reaction to the sedative at his appointment? What if this was our last family vacation together? I tried to shake the feeling, but the sickness was still in my gut the whole trip and the next week leading up to his appointment. I tried to remember verses of comfort, like Isaiah 41:13 “For I am holding you by your right hand, I the Lord your God, and I say to you, do not fear. I am here to help you.” The verse helped me while I recalled it, but the dread would come back, hanging over me like the dark Arizona sky when the sun finally fell below the horizon. The moon was full that night. I remembered what we had just studied in Genesis, “3When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, 4what is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them?” –Psalm 8:3-4 NIV.  His power was vast; He would take care of us; my eyes welled up at the thought of His glory.

Satan bombarded our family with his fear tactics the week of the appointment. A couple nights prior to it, I had a nightmare: a package came in the mail. Inside was a stuffed walrus, Brody’s favorite animal. Its tusks had been chopped off and shoved down the walrus’s throat. I woke up in a cold sweat. Later that day, I told Kirk about the dream. He told me he had a nightmare too. He had taken some medication and became trapped in his own mind; he gasped for breath and woke up because he couldn’t breathe.   I remembered him waking up that night. Our black cat seemed perturbed and wanted out. I wondered if he knew his owners were wrestling with darkness, and he wanted to go to his safe and warm bed in the garage.

I worked the two days leading up to the appointment. One of the last patients I saw arrived early. She was supposed to be my co-worker's patient, but I was able to see her last minute since I was running early too. She was a Christian, and I had several good talks with her in the past. I told her about my fears and she told me, “You need to pray against those strongholds and give your son to God. He’ll be ok.” I was comforted by her wisdom. That night I researched conscious sedation on the Internet. The first story to come up was how 15 kids had died during sedation procedures due to negligence and dentists pushing the limits on doses. I felt nauseous; was God warning us, or was Satan shooting arrows of fear at our hearts? How would I know before it was too late? I called my mom for advice, and Kirk and I got everyone we knew to pray. We needed God’s peace and protection in many more ways than just keeping Brody safe during the procedure. Satan was trying his hardest to kick us while we were down.

God is in Control

God gave us a glimmer of hope that He was indeed in control. Kirk had put extra money in our flexible spending account that we ended up not needing. The drug company was going to pay the co-pays for a new drug I was on, so we could use that extra money to pay for Brody’s procedure. God indeed was taking care of every detail.

The night before the appointment, I lay with Brody for a few minutes before he fell asleep. The black cloud of fear was back. What if this were the last time I would lay beside my son? How could I live without him? I almost felt like I were saying goodbye to him in my heart. My eyes welled up with tears. What was wrong with me? This was no big deal, right?

God’s Protection

The morning of the appointment, it was misty outside. When I aroused Brody, he was cantankerous and didn’t want to get his clothes on or use the bathroom. Were we going to make it through this day? We made it to the dental office in plenty of time, Brody clutching his beloved kitty in his arms.

The office was kid- friendly and comforting. Brody read a magazine while we waited, then he was called back for the assistant to listen to his heart and take his blood pressure. He did not want anyone to touch him. Last time he went to the dentist, he had some x-rays done that he didn’t enjoy in the least, and he didn’t trust anyone. He had also recently had a cluster of shots at the doctor’s office; he wasn’t in the mood to repeat those memories! He protested loudly when he had to lay back and the dentist gave him the sedative with the syringe. I had promised him the sleepy juice would taste good. I felt horrible. Had I made Mommy out to be a liar? How was he supposed to trust anyone when one of the people he trusted the most let him down?

We were taken to a dark room for Brody to rest and hopefully fall asleep before the procedure. The assistant put on Spiderman at his request, and slowly but surely he fell asleep with his head on my lap. I stroked his blonde wavy locks and a thought came clearly to my mind. My precious son was about to have his teeth repaired by caring hands, with his best interest in mind, and I was barely able to watch his discomfort. Yet, God, Christ’s Father, had to watch his only son be tortured, mocked and killed by us, the people He created. What an absolutely unimaginable thing to do for the very people who killed His precious son, Jesus. How could I ever appreciate His gift enough after experiencing a tiny sliver of the pain that He must have felt?

It was time to go back to the exam room; Brody woke up. They had to strap him down to a papoose board for his and the staff’s protection. He was drowsy but feisty. They stretched his arm out and secured it down. More images of Christ on the cross filled my mind. How could our Heavenly Father bear it. “No doctors!”  Brody yelled. “Nooooo!”

“I miss my Mommy!” he cried feebly. There was nothing I could do to help him. “It’s ok sweetie.  I love you.” My eyes were filled to the brim. They put the nitrous mask on him and rocked him, stroking his hair. He faded into sleep, whimpering quietly. I was able to go sit in the chair in the exam room as the dentist came in to fix my baby son’s teeth. The lights were turned out so the only light shining was the exam lights and the light from the dentist’s instruments. She seemed confident and empathetic, telling Brody he was brave; he was doing a good job. I was so proud of my boy.

It took about an hour and a half to do the procedure. The room was decorated like outer space with planets and stars. I again remembered how God had created the earth and the planets. He was the one in control here. He had created my son who lay strapped to a table in front of me, his mind in dreamland while the dentist drilled and suctioned and repaired his broken teeth. Meanwhile God repaired my broken heart from the arrows Satan had been trying to wound it with. God alone had created and given me my son, and my son’s life was still in his caring hands. Brody’s feet were about all I could see from the chair I sat in. I remembered the first time I had held Brody in my arms, his feet and hands so tiny, so perfect. I had been pouring out my love in him the four precious years he had been ours, and I realized, every moment had been such a gift. I could never take it for granted. God had given His son to us, sacrificing countless years and minutes so we could spend eternity with Him.

Finally, it was over. We had made it! Brody smiled when he saw my face, and I carried his limp and exhausted body to the car. The whole way home he slept, once more clutching his kitty, at complete peace.  God had protected him, and taught me a lesson I never could have learned otherwise. God will always be there when our worst fears crash into our lives, and Satan will never be the winner when we put our hope in the one true sovereign Lord!